I think it’s fair to say that old school femininity in today’s world is a bit of a forgotten concept. I notice a lot of people, men and women alike, associate femininity and grace with a passe demeanour from a bygone era. They equate it with weakness and female submission, or even with an anti-feminist outlook.
Which is, to put it gently, a crock! Femininity has nothing to do with not being able to hold your own, with trying to please society or men. And if you think that a refined guise and mannered behavior are in anyway representative of inequality between sexes, then you need to take your ideas back to the drawing board!
Granted, an overtly feminine style will most likely not win you any cool-points either. You won’t have that not-even-trying, It-Girl look by donning a super sweet dress, coiffed locks and matching make-up. It’s not exactly the androgynous, uber chill vibe that’s advertised today in magazines or music videos.
But it is a style that I for one adore. Aaand I figured I can’t be the only one, right? If I love a decidedly womanly look, there must be others out there that share this love. And what about those of you that want to embrace their more feminine side but have no clue where to even start?
Maybe you want to be more confident in your feminine ways, but at the same time don’t feel comfortable in pussy-bow shirts and gingham dresses (I know I don’t). Which is totally OK, because femininity means different things for different people! And it’s certainly not only defined by how you dress or if you put make-up on. So if you’re looking to learn exactly what your feminine side means for you, and want to become more confident in how you express it, I propose you try some exercises:
1. Learn to gracefully accept a compliment with a smile and a “thank you”.
Instead of scoffing, shaking your head and generally deflecting the attention and positive remark. It shows confidence in your own skin to be able to acknowledge your qualities. Try enjoying a compliment instead of persuading the person who paid it that you’re really not all that.
2. Allow yourself to indulge in a lush experience that will activate your senses.
Whether it’s drawing a foamy bath with colourful bath bombs, trying out new perfumes at Sephora so you can finally pin down your signature scent, or running your fingers across a cashmere sweater. Allow yourself to experience sensory overload and let it recharge you.
3. Embrace your own brand of womanhood and express it how you see fit through your style.
For some, it’s best advertised through flouncy midi skirts and delicate pearls. For others it’s curve-hugging pencil skirts and velvety red lips. Or maybe it’s best shown through a well fitted pair of cigarette trousers worn with a luxurious camel coat.
We don’t all have the same style (thank God, how boring would that be??) So there’s no wrong way to do “feminine”. Keep trying and testing until you work your way through your wardrobe and back, and you can finally say: “I feel most like myself wearing this”.
4. Master the art of negotiation.
A woman (and actually everyone, really) needs to be articulate and well spoken, and she needs to be able to convey her thoughts and wants concisely and eloquently. How else are you going to reach your goals and get all that you deserve? But learning to walk the fine line between being determined and crass, or between persuasive and whiney is an exercise that needs to be perfected.
5. Finally, keep growing and cultivating your inner world.
Become an avid reader, devour all genres of film, go to art exhibits and museums. Listen to Mozart as well as Prodigy, until you find those things that truly spark your passion. Get to know what you like and who you are, become fearless in expressing yourself with strength, poise and enthusiasm. Because by becoming a better rounded, more confident person, you will also be able to unapologetically own your femininity.
So my dears, now you tell me: what constitutes femininity in your eyes? Do you feel like it’s a dead and buried concept, or are you passionate supporters of it?
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